We Are All Just Prisoners Here, Of Our Own Device*

For some reason, my neighborhood Target has become fodder for my snark lately.  At least there were no wannabe Survivors today, but I think that Gene Roddenberry has visited Target because the "team members" there seem to be part of The Borg and resistance is definitely futile....

After hearing the five questions asked of the patron in front of me, I stepped up to the cashier, in an attempt to save us both some time and politely said, "No I don't need a gift receipt, I don't want to apply for a Target Card, I have a Target Visa Card, no I do not want to use it and the reason is because the APR is higher than my Bank Card....just thought I would save you some time" and I sweetly smiled so she knew I was trying to be nice, not an OC Beyotch.  So as I am running my card through the machine, she starts asking me the questions, as if on auto-pilot and I was like, "uhm....remember I answered all of these for you so you would not have to ask?" She giggled and moved on, scanned my order, took my payment, handed me my receipt and then, I shit you negative, she said, "This piece of paper is a receipt showing that you automatically qualify for a Target Visa so if you want to step into the Customer Service line, they can help you finish your application."  Exasperated, I looked at her and said, "uhhhh....I already have a......nevermind"....then I walked out of the store scratching my head.  How droll and hum-drum must that job be?  Or I wonder if the Target Team Leader holds their eyes open with clothes pins every morning while they watch "How To Annoy You Customer 101" on the DVD player?  Either way, I am telling you again.....resistance is futile. 

Speaking of television and Survivors, tonight is the much anticipated Season Premiere of Survivor: Cook Islands**. I am interested to see what happens and if the racial hullabaloo is that big of a deal or not.  I think people are more ticked off that thirteen of the players are actors from the greater Los Angeles area more than anything else.  Hey, I don't care what race or profession you are, as long as you back-stab and swindle your way through the game long enough to keep me on the edge of my seat, that's fine by me.  I am also looking forward to The Amazing Race starting this weekend; oddly I have not yet checked out the teams on-line so I guess I should go pre-judge some people because that is always a healthy thing to do.

Ahhh The Fall Season of TV....a few months filled with anticipation, love and then utter disappointment....hrm, sort of like a lot of my old relationships.  I hate the fact that I know that half of the new shows that I am falling in love with may be canceled,  just like Eyes and Reunion were.  Alas, I am still going to watch them until the network executives suck the life out of my little happy soul ;).  One show that already has me wrapped around its little pinkie is Justice. I think the mere fact that Victor Garber and Eamonn Walker rock their characters is reason enough to keep it on the air, although they need to start getting some guilty verdicts and having some twist endings to keep it fresh.  I had to laugh at last night's episode, which was called "Behind The Orange Curtain" which is a common euphemism for people who live in Orange County.  It clearly defined the difference between LA and Orange County, which a lot of people seem to lump together....oh helllss nahhhh - they are very very different.  I'd love to say that I don't act like I live behind the Orange Curtain because I am not a Republican, avid churchgoer, nor do I belong to a country club but....there is a certain amount of snobbery that has crept into my soul with regard to what is and what is not ghettofabulous.  Oh you think I am kidding?  Just ask Karl about my "7-11 Conspiracy Theory" and he will make fun of me until the cows come home.

Okay then, I'm not quite sure what the fuck this post was supposed to be about....I just wanted to tell my Borg story but kept going and going and going....brain dump, I guess.

You Will Be Assimilated Kisses,
Me

*seriously people, come on!

***ETA my thoughts on Survivor are in the comments now but basically, the racial thing had more hype than it needed to and did not seem like that big of a deal, seriously.

Comments

[Lora]

I am a little too excited by the fact that Survivor and Amazing Race are starting up again. I've checked out the AR teams but haven't looked at any of the Survivors. With 20 people it's just too hard to keep track of everyone until they are picked off! And I agree, there is DEFinitely a difference between LA and Orange Counties...having lived in one and traveled frequently to the other I know just what you mean!

[jessica]

Yeah, I'm a little bit in love with Justice, too.

And this is what I hate about mass retailing... they are probably required to offer that visa to everybody, and probably are HIGHLY incentivized to do so, and therefore, put their own needs before yours, which is the EXACT OPPOSITE of Retail 101 lessons.

[tori]

I'm so glad you reminded me that Survivor is on tonight! I just went and set my tivo. Last time I remembered, it was too early, and it wasn't an option yet! I would not have been happy if I missed it!

I have stuff similar to Target happen, but it's at the post office. The lady says is there anything perishable, fragile, liquid, etc. And I usually try to save time by answering her ahead of time too, and it never works, she just repeats the question to me after I have already told her the answer. Point is (hello I'm a little rambly today) I completely sympathize with you on that one.

I also know the song, but I will email it to you in a minute.

[Dustin]

Wow, after reading about your run-in with the survivor geeks and then the tard-faced checker it amazes me that you haven't clipped a digital recorder to your shoulder just to record the stupidity every time you visit. You can't buy material like that. =)

[francesdanger]

At my ex soul sucking, umm, I mean job, we were heavily scripted, and there were things you absolutely had to say, even if the person already answered you. Like if someone wanted to sign up and said they didn't have a credit card we still had to ask them if they wanted to use a credit card. There was no incentive for the consultants or myself, but we still had to hit arbitrary 'script points'. Poor girl probably had to do the same thing.

[Mr. Fabulous]

Allow me to share my experience at Regal Cinemas every single weekend.

Me: I will have a medium diet coke and a medium popcorn with butter.

Clerk rings up purchase. Goes to popcorn machine.

Clerk: Do you want butter on the popcorn.

Me: Um..yes.

Clerk fills popcorn, brings it back, grabs a cup to put under the machine

Clerk: What kind of soda?

Me: Um...diet coke.

Every. Single. Time.

[Neil]

I'm going to make a big deal about rooting for "the Asians" tonight on Survivor in my favorite sushi bar, hoping to score some free sake.

[Hilly]

LORA: I totally just spent half the day checking out the Amazing Race teams; it is interesting that there is an Indian-American team....I wonder if they will have an advantage in India since that is where everyone loses it every damned time. I am like you - I don't get invested in Survivors til they are down to fewer peeps.

JESS: I know they are trained to say that and not bug us but geez, you are right with the mass marketing. Shoo fly and leave me be ;).

Tori: Yay, I have done my good deed for the week....funny how it centers around television, though ;). Although I am still stuck here on the west coast waiting to see it, tick tock.

Dustin: I should, but one never knows when these situations will arise. I so wish I had one the day the "survivors" were there, le sigh.

Mr. Fab: What did you say? Do you want butter on that?

Neil: I was thinking the same thing, except with fajitas and carnitas ;).

[christie]

I know when cashiers ask so many questions it can be annoying - but as someone who's on the other side of the counter (not at Target), believe me, it's not like we WANT to ask those questions. We have to if we don't want our boss looking at us going "tsk, tsk, such a bad employee. So forgetful." It's quite frustrating.

I didn't get to see Justice last night!!! I thought I had set it up as a season pass on my Tivo but I hadn't!!! Grrr. That's an awesome show.

[Katrina]

that Target story is great:) loved it. It also made me want to shop at Target tomorrow...

[Ms. Boombastic]

As a former "Target Team Member," I hated saying that crap more than anything. At the time, they had a deal that said if you didn't get asked if you wanted to save 10% by opening a Target card, you got a pack of gum. People would go through the line, start paying with their debit card, and then ask for their stupid pack of gum when I didn't ask them to open one--which meant that the manager would give me attitude when he came over to give them their free gum. So I just started asking everyone, even if they were buying something for 99 cents. Remember, too, that Target isn't unionized and their employees are often treated like crap by management. Not that that's much different than any retail job, unfortunately. Thank goodness I only had to work there a little while to help pay for school. :)

[MC]

I take it "The O.C." does not paint a reflective image of your fair county either.

[Sarah Living to Feel Good]

That is so damn annoying, and you're not joking about that damn APR on the Target card. We have one too, but I rarely use it.

Watched Survivor..didn't think it was that big of a deal. So far I'm digging it.

I can't wait for Amazing race either! Next week is sweet...Biggest Loser & Project Runway on Wednesday, Survivor on Thursday, Vegas on Friday and Saturday, and Desperate Housewives & Amazing Race on Sunday. Next week is gonna be a good one for me.

BTW how sad is it that TV makes me the happiest person in the world?

GOOO Michael!!!

[Dagny]

I've never been into Survivor. With the current brouhaha, I have decided that I don't really need to watch it. Sorry but I get enough racial divisiveness at school everyday. I love *cough* how I go to school everyday and ask the kids, "Can't we all just get along?" and then discover that some network has decided that perhaps we can't. My guess is that if racial separation is not a part of your daily consciousness, then perhaps the show has some appeal. I'll have to doublecheck this with Jade. *stepping off the soapbox*

"Behind the orange curtain?" *giggle* I must admit that I have been guilty of using this phrase. I know that not all folks in the OC have this mindset but there are enough.

Also, I am interested in your ideas of "ghetto fab." If I am not mistaken, you are from Sacto so I would also surmise that you are quite familiar with Oak Park. I know similar neighborhoods in the Bay and have plenty of folks in my life who are self-proclaimed ghetto fab. It's kind of like when I lived in Virginia and had friends who were sel-proclaimed rednecks.

I can't wait until the season premiere of TAR on Sunday though.

[Hilly]

Christie: I can imagine that it is frustrating to HAVE to say those things; also I think you can watch episodes on the Web if you go to fox.com
Ms. Boombastic: Oh I figured they had totally drilled that stuff into her head which is why I was nice about it....uh, I can be a bit snarky, LOL. You know the worst thing about Target? No one can wear khaki and red in the outside world anymore ;).

MC: I am sure it does for part of our county....The OC is made up of a ton of different cities and that Newport Beach area is filled with people like that, however I live in a master planned town that has been this way for 35 years...it is also a college town, and somewhat like The Truman Show, LOL.

Sarah: Yeah there was no big deal to me either. Interestingly, I was rooting for the Asian team the whole time because I liked those people better, not because of race at all.

Dagny: First of all, I just got done watching Survivor and it is way more positive than the media and all the complainants made it out to be. No one on the show, as of yet, is all about the racer issue....they are all basically like, this is Survivor and it is about the PEOPLE you can trust, not the color of their skin. I don't know what will happen down the line but seriously, it was not negative at all...and like I was telling Sarah, as a viewer, my Caucasian ass was rooting for the Asian-American team anyway.

G-Fab...Yes, I am familiar with Oak Park because I grew up in Curtis Park, on the other side of the freeway and at the time, Oak Park was the ghetto. But keep in mind that once upon a time, my ass lived in West Sac so I am not even a snob who hasn't lived both lives at all. I think living where I do (and I think I told you the exact city in email but won't say it here) taints things because this city is too perfect so when you step out of it, everything seems ghetto, like Santa Ana, which compared to Oak Park is Disneyland, LOL.

[Hilly]

racer = race.....lord, now I am all Nascar and shit.

[DutchBitch]

I would love to have a look at the hiring criteria for the Target Team... I think it's fair to assume that Brainless is at the top of the list. I might have some candidates for them...

[kapgar]

Oh cool. So we can have some Race talks back and forth? Rock. Katie and I love that show. And we're also Justice fans. Pretty cool show. Garber is absolute perfection in that role, isn't he?

I can't say I ever imagined OCers as being particulary religious, though.

[t2ed]

I didn't think the team divisions in Survivor would be that big of a deal and it didn't seem to be. They booted the biggest windbag who didn't listen and was lazy. Hmm, quite a surprise.

I love to go into Target when I have accidentally worn a red polo shirt and khaki pants and get lots of questions because I look like a manager. I randomly make up answers and send people to all the wrong parts of the store. Next time I'm going to try that giving away gum trick that Boombastic clued me into.

[Hilly]

Kevin - Totally can have TAR talks back and forth; of all these Reality Shows, that is my favorite, hands down. As for the religion thing, again it depends on what part of the county you are talking about; I kid you not that within a five mile radious of my house there are at least twenty different kinds of churches....it's crazy.

T2Ed - It's funny that they always get rid of the most obnoxious one first no matter what kind of physical asset they may be at challenges, although that guy....lazeeeee! I have a feeling that if the Asian American tribe makes it to Tribal, Cao Boi is gone, LOL.