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Monday, April 16, 2007


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Geeky Tai-Tai

Most of the time, if I don't comment on a blog, it's only because I can't think of the right thing to say. I can be duh-duh-duh-dumb that way -- on occasion ;D Or, I think I know what I'm going to say, then decide it's not right and delete it!

The other night, Way-Hot Husband and I were at our favorite club. The lead singer/guitarist was out sick. The band was doing their best, nobody seemed to appreciate it, but WHH and me. We were the only ones applauding.

That's when I told WHH that when I don't get any comments on my blog, it's kind of like no applause. There's no feedback, so I don't know if I'm boring the hell out of people...or what??? Do they think I'm just a stupid bimbo? Especially, since I started my blog as a way to avoid the all-sucky mass-emails. I truly hate those things!

When you do get comments, it's probably best to keep this in mind, from one of my favorite bloggers, RW said recently in his blog. There is, "No inflection to hear, no reading of the speaker's face. You can't see the smirk when he's typing up in his office eight hundred miles from where you are." RW was critiquing his own blog, but that statement applies to "Comments". I think, anyway.

One small frustration, for me, is that Typepad sends me to an error page at least once before I can actually post a comment.


When I don't comment it's either because I don't have anything to say or I'm behind on my blogreading so I might not have read it yet. I can relate to what you're saying, but for the last time I AM NOT MAD AT YOU. ;)


*HUGS* I'm not a big over thinker but I can understand where you are coming from. And I really understand the comment thing and I hope one of these days I can get to the point that you are at...where it doesn't make me do a lot of wondering if I am boring, or if people find me a motivation bust or because I am not regular with my posting....whatever the heck it is I do think a bit when I have 20+ visits and not a single comment in a day. Can you tell you touched on something that has been causing me to think lately?? LOL. I keep telling myself not to worry with it and try to push it to the back of my mind but it's been rough week with all the blog awards and so few comments. I really do treasure the people that post. I think I need to do a post to tell them. Anyway...I've gone on and on how I feel. I just wanted to let you know I understand and don't think you are weird or anything for feeling that way or thinking that way.


I'm with Geeky Tai-Tai. Sometimes I just can't think of anything to say. Or someone else has said what I was going to say so I figure it would be overkill.


I can feel what Geeky Tai Tai means, and I like her story about RW and typing 800miles away...people can't see the smirk on my face, especially when I am giving replies. People don't see the way I am thinking when I write...and when you don't feel anyone there, it does feel like a lack of applause, yes.

Perhaps blogs are going in a different direction, towards lurkerdom. Lots of people read thru feeds, don;t have time or ability to comment, and so don't. I broke my teeth on a BB site, where lots of people came and checked in and wrote sort of Posts, and everybody learned to Reply. You may have started out Lurking, but soon you were encouraged to join the fray! So commenting becamse sort of this expected thing I guess...but maybe tides are changing with the times. My BB days were a few years back, and frankly, the tides changing with the evolution of the BB? Lack of Comments and particpation is actually what killed alot of people's interest. Without Comments, and Interaction, there is no Posts or Discussion. yeah.

As for your worry about reading between the lines, and wondering if someone is mad at you or whatever--I have been there. Sometimes I give replies that are a bit left of center, and maybe you wonder...but I guess that's just me. Sometimes when I read something sent to me, I'll pick up a tone that was not meant at all, and then I think, "Oh geez, is this person hating me? Really? What have I said?" and then I think back, if I said something obtuse or dumb, or that was taken wrong. *sigh*

It can be hard when you feel misunderstood, or worse. I'm out here in Left Field, and I guess I'm just doing my thing...hoping people won't take me wrong.People love you, so I wouldn't worry, Hil. :-)


i do the same thing. shut up stupid brain! i'm trying really, really hard to focus on not personalizing stuff. it's difficult to do.

and by the way, i've been pissed at you for weeks. thanks for finally noticing! ;) (jk my friend!)


I am an over analyzer too. After much therapy and lots of work, I still do it, but now I am just too busy most of the time to bother. I've decided that people get pissed at others hundreds of times and don't say anything because it is more about their own shit than anything I have done. I know I am that way, so I am assuming others are too. Right?.... Right?
Sometimes I don't comment because I have too much to say and I think I'll come back and then I forget and then I feel like it is too late. You have such thought provoking posts, sometimes its hard to answer them quickly.
Sorry you are down, being sick always makes it worse, because you actually have the time to brood.


You guys are all great. Just to clear something up, when people don't comment sometimes I really do wonder why, especially when I have over 300 hits a day BUT I don't tend to do the over-thinking with THAT stuff. It is more of the stuff where I read between the lines, meh.

Fruity McCakey

I'm glad *I* never do this. ;-) Riiight.

If I ever get to the point where I don't "read things into" people's response or lack thereof, I'm gonna throw a big party. But yeah, one of the negative things about blogging is that you *can't* hear people's tones or see their faces. It's so often difficult to tell what a person really means in their six-word comment. Do they mean what it says or ... something else?


Shoot, now I'd feel bad if I DIDN'T comment. So here we go, yay! I'm still trying to figure out what shades of tone inspire twenty comments on one post and zero on another. Length also seems to be a factor for me: The longer the post, the fewer the comments. But for some reason, despite also being an over-analyzer, I don't worry about that much. I can always just write something else. I hope your week gets better.


For the first few years of my relationship with my husband, I always thought he was mad at me because he is very quiet. I would then hound him listing reasons he "might" be mad at me, and make him choose one. He always swore he wasn't mad about anything. Now we have a deal, I am not allowed to think he's mad unless he tells me he is. Conversly, he is not allowed to be mad/irritated unless he tells me. This way, we avoid all my crazy imagined things that he might possibly be mad about.

I still do the 'are they mad' thing and then invent tons of possible reasons they could be with other people, so you totally don't sound crazy to me at all. I don't know if that helps you feel less crazy to know that I am crazy in the same way though.

P.S. a lot of times I don't comment even though I read you every single day because I have 4 kids and therefore can not always think straight, and when all I have to say is "yes, me too" I feel stupid leaving that. Should I be leaving those kinds of comments that make me sound like I have half a brain or no? You tell me and I'll do whatever makes you happy. I promise you I read every day (or if I don't, I catch up when I have time).


Greeeat, I decide to get raw and a little psycho on the ONE day that my name is scattered throughout the PRB in links...good times.

Geeky Tai-Tai: I was just telling Karl the other day that I would rather have the standard 18-25 people that consistently comment and care about me than 70 who don't. I think for me it is about wanting people to like my personality, not my persona.

Karl: I love how everyone really read into the "not commenting" part when I am pretty much okay with that, even though at times I have to admit, I just get bugged by the stuff we talked about. And I know you are mad at me....I just know it...wahhh!

Annie: I am so sorry that you are feeling that way but totally understand it. I sometimes feel guilty commenting on WL Blogs these days because I have totally dropped out of that realm. However, I need to be there for people a bit more.

Dagny: Oh I totally get that way too, especially with the friends of mine that get from 40-70 comments. I sometimes figure that they don't really need me to add the same shit someone else has said.

Bully: Would it make my a hypocrite if I told you that I don't always comment either because I lurk when I am busy? Uhhh, yeah. You are ALWAYS the one who gets me...who knows that this is more about reading between the lines than anything else. I don't know what happened but my armor has taken a few hits lately.

Sizzle: Oh I already knew that. You are on the list of people to ask, "Are you mad at meeeee?" ;)

Kim: LOL, I love your attitude. I need to know when to NOT comment, so I will take a page from your book. Sometimes I feel like I have to be all fun and sarcastic when I want to truly say something sweet. It is a delicate balance being me ;)

Fruity: Ugh, I think it's about letting people have too much power over me. Why does knowing it not equate to getting over it?

Don: Hey, thanks for stopping by! I totally did not mean this to turn into a "ohhh poor me, you must comment" kind of thing really. I guess I just needed to be honest about over-analyzing what never gets said :). Come back on a less crazy day :).

Tori: OMG, I seriously feel so bad for the "not commenting" part of my post now cause I don't want anyone to explain themselves at all. I know what it is like to just skim and I don't have kids. But yes, I am glad to know that you are like me. It helps to realize that someone else struggles with some of the same shit, because sometimes I am convinced that I am nuttier than a fruitcake!


Cute pics from your lunch! I'll have to figure out how to add your Flickr site to my list of friends.

I'm a total over-analyzer too. Just ask the friends I've overanalyzed! It's only been in the past couple of months where I've gotten to the point of honestly saying "whatever" and realizing that most of the time, it's not me that's done something wrong, so I have nothing to be sorry for.


Fuck yah!


I leave comments all the time, but they are meaningless and generally off target. I just like hearing the sound of myself typing.


Hilly, I read somewhere that people get about 1 comment for every 30 lurkers. So I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I think your overanalyzing mentality is what makes you a good writer and a good friend to the people you like. You're sympathetic, empathetic, and you just "get" people. Sometimes, you may feel that great quality goes a little overboard, but I think the best people in life share that kind of thinking.

I have to admit sometimes I don't comment, either. If I don't read you, it's just because I don't have time. I purposely don't use a blog feed so that forces me to visit the blogs or just leave them alone for the day.

You should, however, feel honored today because I'm reading and commenting on your blog instead of finishing my taxes. So if you never hear from me again, it's probably because the IRS seized my computer or my home.

But I gotta tell you that yours is one of the harder blogs to follow sometimes for those of us who don't share a long history with you. Please don't take that as a criticism, it's just the way it is. I know you've mentioned that some people say you have a clique. I don't think that's fair, but there is a history here that can be difficult to follow if you're new to the blog.

I also think too many people are taking these Blogger Awards to heart and feel they're losing a popularity contest.

Personally, I like best some of the blogs that have no chance of winning and feel so-so about some of the ones that do have a shot.

Maybe that easy for me to say though because my blog's more informational than personal. If I were baring my soul every day like you do, I might feel the same way that you do.


I've always thought you were certifiable. Just don't take offense at it.

I get the same way. I overanalyze. But I'm trying to get better about it. I have gotten better in recent months. Or so I like to think.

Just remember, comment or no, I'm still here reading.


I try to comment on my favorite blogs (yours included) but there are times when I just can't think of one damn thing to say so I read and think about what you have written. Sometimes what you write is so profound I think that if I comment that it might make light or not do justice to what you have written.
I LOVE when people comment on my blog so I get really disappointed if a post generates few comments.
I am bummed because only 4 people have commented on a post that I wrote 5 hours ago. I decided to do something a bit different and now I wonder if I did something stupid.
My tag line should say something about being a comment whore. Seriously.


From one comment whore to another, lemmejusttellya that the last two weeks have been INSANE with work, and it took me until after midnight to finally read current on all my blogs.

But you are one of the first ones I seek out :) Becuz I luv you that much!

(We are WAY too much alike!)


I try to comment when I can, but like some of the other commenters said, I don't have much too say. It's simple as that.

Or if I do have anything to say, it's so Whoo-hoo Carrots, that I don't really feel the need to elaborate. AND, I admit, if someone already has like 20 comments on a post, and I don't have anything great to add, I don't really bother. If I go to a blog and see they haven't had any comments yet, I'll try to comment, even if it is a lame one.

I over-think as well. I think it's pretty typical to do that.


I try to comment on every post I read, but if I can't offer anything that showcases my awesome powers of wit and shit, then I may refrain. See, like this comment, I rhymed wit and shit...amazing, I know. Go ahead you can touch me...above the waist please.


Hi, I'm Rachel, and I'm an overanalyzer too...

I find it's hard for me to comment on blogs that are updated every day. Crap, I'm still thinking about what to comment for your songs that tingle my vajingle post that you did about three weeks ago!



I used to do the same thing and over analyze whether someone was mad at me or not. Lately I have just gotten to the point unless you are my BFF :) or my significant other I just have just come to say F it if you want to tell me what the problem is then tell me and we will talk. If not oh well I don't have time for stuff like that anymore and it was always stressing me out. I figure if we are good enough friends we can talk about anything and if we can't we probably aren't as close as we could be. I can't say how I would feel about comments or none as I don't have a blog but I do know that I read your blog almost every day along with a few others and know if I don't comment it is usally because I just don't have time but it doesn't mean I don't appreciate anything you have to say. I hope your day gets better and that you feel better soon.



Lisa: email me your Flickr screename and I will start the process! Yeah I totally usually say "whatever' but for some reason I got all hurt and pissy last night. Hrm, we shall see if I get over it, LOL.

Foo: - I totally spit out my water; fuck yah!

Whit: I think we'll be getting along just fine at the party :)

Debbie: Thanks for your heartfelt reply. I sometimes forget that who I am is the person who cares about others a lot, so yeah...maybe there is a method to my madness. Now seriously, get those taxes done so I don't have to feel guilty and then ask you if you are mad at me ;).

Kevin: Right, we're both crazy. Good to know.

Rachel: I think every blogger is a bit insane and needs attention in some way. I don't care what anybody says.

TSM: Yes, we totally are. By the way, I am going to drive to Seattle so we are on for hanging out! Probably in June, it looks like.

Rachel Meta: I love the woohoo, carrots!

FuriousBall: You know, you keep telling me to touch you but then you put restrictions on me. I think I will just worship from afar.

Rachel (Frenchy): I totally never used to update daily til I started mirroring my friends that do. I think I want to go back to not being such a big mouth. Tingle in the vajingle, indeed!

Di: Right, eff it. I got it. For now.....thanks though!


ME TOO. Everything you said - hashing, rehashing, analyzing, reanalyzing, putting my thoughts into other people's heads - over and over again. I think that being intuitive makes it worse - I (and it sound like you too) are right just often enough that we're always sure we know what is going on. . .


i never really gave it much thought to how many people comment on my blog BUT now - i have to admit when numbers are low, i wonder shit like: was today's topic boring? am i talking too much about non-weightloss stuff? am i bragging too much about jogging for 1 mile straight?

i think we all have hopes of having people comment and say nice things and when that doesn't happen, its like a slap in the face... i think its natural to take blogging so seriously, it means you do have feelings and big, soppy heart...

and i also have to admit to feeling guilty when i don't comment enough, what a strange world... if i didn't have a job, things would be MUCH easier... :o)


When I wrote a humor blog, it seemed like it was easier to find "my voice" when it came to commenting.

Now, I genuinely never know what to say. It's like if I can't say something clever, I don't want to just write, "Yeah, I'm like that too. Cool, huh?"

I do, of course, but I don't *like* doing it. I find if difficult to write "me too" comments.

I do love it when bloggers write about something like this where I can just respond and not worry about being the clever one.

I'm just not very clever anymore.

Fruity McCakey

It's very, very hard to "get over it" when every word that person says to you is soooo important to you. Their comment may be simple and forthright, but if there's even the slightest bit of ambiguity to it, our paranoia will zoom in on that. And if it's followed by questionable actions, such as not commenting when we'd hoped, everything gets blown out of proportion in our mind. When in fact the two things may be completely unrelated.


Sometimes I'm an occasional lurker here but will de-cloak to comment. Usually, I don't comments cause I can't think of the right thing to say or don't feel I'm good with words on some days, not the way you are! Or someone has already given the same good comment I was going to give. And I'm relatively new to your blog for the last few months so totally get the "history" comments someone made above. But, we all are all hear reading your blog from time to time and hope you are doing Ok!


Guilty. I lurk.

I can't help it. I don't lurk HERE, anymore, but a lot of times the comment in my head is hilarious, but if I type it out it's too easy to misread, and I don't want to come across as a jerk for saying something I thought was funny, but in writing just isn't.


Just for that, I will comment on yuor blog because I feel like I haven't for a while. I am still reading! And I still love you! AND, I"m coming to LA next week - 23rd - 25th. Having dinner with Heidi one of those nights. You free??!!?



When I don't comment it's usually b/c I don't feel I have anything germaine to add to the discussion...or b/c someone else commented about it in much the same way I would have and said it much better. But, I read you obsessively every day (and get really irritated if you haven't updated by the time I have a minute to check your site...LOL!). And I overanalyze things having to do with DH. I'm getting better about it, but it's hard. I think I have latent fear of abandonment issues...


I find it hard enough to find something to say in my own blog... leaving comments on other people's blogs is sometimes just too much for me. Especially since I read hundreds of them every day. :-)


Vickie: That is exactly it! Sometimes intuition is dead on so we just seem like we are crazy but not so much ;)

Jodi: Ha, but at least you have a balance in your life! It is hard being a WL Blogger, seriously. I had to stop being one thing because it is too focused for me....you always write interesting things!

Ajooja: Believe it or not, I totally get that. My big thing is having so many male friends that by the time I get there and wade through the women throwing themselves at all of them, I have to find something witty to say that trumps the sex card ;).

Fruity: Oh yeah, you totally get me and now I owe you one BOV.

Patty: It is so funny because when I read my posts I don't see the history thing, but maybe I am too close to it. I think it is the way I reference certain people and how they make me think of a certain situation so yeah...I get that part.

Shari: Well after meeting and us being all in the crazy gathering crowd together, you have to comment or I will cry ;).

Jess: Yeah, where you been ho? LOL. I am actually alone for a week and a half and probably would love to drive up to LA! I should have an OC House Partayyy!

Lora: Haha, get a feed reader then you don't have to obsess! But I appreciate the obsession all the same :)

Dave The Awesome: Well aren't you the busy bee? I know how you roll so it's all good. Besides I really WASN'T whining about comments as much as feeling like people don't like me at times, which is retarded.


Earlier today, I had written up this whole reply because work let me post a comment on the Foo's site, and when I wrote up like 2 paragraphs it kicked my ass out. So, to sum it up, I overanalyze shit all the time, I'm trying to work on it, I know you're trying to work on it, so I'll join you and the Foo and say FUCK YAH!

Because, this feels like one of those times that I can let the fucks fly. :0)



You got me, Hilly. I'm a SLACKER. I didn't have a chance to read anyone's blog last week and so just today I finished burning my way through all my feeds and catching up, and if I start commenting on people's posts three days after the fact it quickly become apparent how badly I've fallen behind. So here I am, outing myself...

At least I finished getting through them today -- if I'd let this post go without a comment I would have been twice the jerk.


Yeah, me too on all of it.

I ont comment even though I read aily because I want to be superwitty or unsightful and sometimes it's just not happening.

And for the record, unless I call someone a bitch, I'm so not mad at them.


Les: Oh yes, this is a flying festival of fuckage!

Fist: Nope, not gonna call you a jerk! You are far too sweet to be called that name of any other.

HG: So snatch is still a "love term" then?

Eileen Dover

I know several times I've commented on your blog, well I thought I've commented, to come back and to see it's mysteriously disappeared.

I know, I know, you have that little catchpa thing to snag bots, but I swear I enter the letters the right way.

So, I swear, I do comment more than you think I do. It's just they magically vanish.

Or you are deleting them....!!!!


Hil, uh thanks, but I'm fine with the one I've got. If at any point demand exceeds supply, I'll be sure and let you know!


Are you kidding me? "Snatch" is the hetero girly crush way of throwing a bag of vaginas!

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