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Wednesday, September 26, 2007


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1.) I've been officially irritated and angry on the inside for about 24 hours now. Nobody knows it but me because I am pretending on the outside.

2.) As a result of number one, I woke up around 4am and have been unable to get back to sleep. I considered just turning off the alarm and not showing up to work, yanno....for like a moment.

3.) My confessions are ass because I am hesitant to confess the things I really want to say....maybe I will get the balls later!

4.) I wish I could turn back time. No I mean it right now...I really wish I could. I'm not having one of those "every bad moment defines you so they're okay" days. I want to go back and you have to let me! :p

5.) I've been seriously hooked on "Your Song" and "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge but lost my disc yesterday....I really need my fix.


1. Even though I started working out for the first time last week, I feel like I am not doing enough by walking a mile on the treadmill every day. I feel like a failure that I can't run 3 miles a day.

2. I called CPS on my son's step-mother. She is a horrible person.

3. I have a bit of a crush on my gay room mates best friend who is straight. One of my friends really likes him too so I am trying to back off.

4. Even though I have lost 25 pounds, the only thing that I see in the mirror is that my boobs are becoming even more droopy.


Today I ate three donuts on the way to work then an egg and cheese croissant when I got there. What is wrong with me? Why do I torture myself with food?

My husband doesn't know I do this. I am so embarrassed.


1. I'm so sick of the whole "BREASTFEEDING IS NATURAL!!!!" rants on all the mommy blogger sites. Of course it's natural, but shit. If I had a facebook account, I certainly wouldn't delete it. The thought even crossed my mind to sign up just for spite. Heh. And if I saw someone breastfeeding next to me in a restaurant? Um....NO THANKS.

2. Yesterday was my birthday and only 2 people called me - my future mother in law and a friend. My best friend forgot. So did my entire family. It made me feel very alone.


Rachel - I think that if you convince your doctor that they hurt your back, you can get a little lift using insurance. I think.....

Anonymous - It's a vicious cycle, because to us food is like any other drug where we use it to stuff the pain and it only causes more pain. I'll trade places with you...I've been gagging down my meals for the last two days due to being whatever I am right now.


Chase: Whaaaaaaaaa? HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE! IF I HAD KNOWN, YOU WOULD HAVE HAD A WHOLE POST JUST FOR YOU :). Okay enough caps. I will probably get blasted but I agree with number one, maybe because I have no kids?


I forgot...I LOOOOOOVE the Moulin Rouge cd. SO much! Actually, the first tango song the fiance and I ever learned together is the Roxanne song on that cd. And my favorite is Come What May, too. We're playing it at our wedding. :)


I confess that I am totally awesome!!


Oh... did I say that without being anonymous??


1) For no good reason, I worry that I am going to get fired. Even though I have been in my field for three years and consider myself smart, I sometimes think that I am a fraud and eventually will be found out.

2) Every time I start a relationship with a man, I start out optimistic, only to eventually have my hopes dashed. Dramatic sh1t always seems to happens to me. I am beginning to wonder if perhaps I somehow bring this on myself.


1. I hate myself because I cannot control my eating. I'm not that overweight, but it completely controls my mood every day of my life.

2. I am NOT suicidal, but sometimes I seriously think it might be kind of nice to just not wake up in the morning. Life seems so difficult sometimes.

3. My boss has had a crush on me since the first day of work. I know his wife knows, but she's always been kind to me. I guess she knows I'm not interested and am even sort of grossed out by it.

4. I am completely disgusted by the man in the office next to me. He gets paid for doing absolutely nothing. I secretly wish he would get fired.

it's a secret

Dear Best Friend,
I miss the person you were before you met your husband. He's a wonderful person, but, I liked the single "you" so much better.


I put grape jelly on rye bread.


I confess that I love to eat food combinations that wouldn't be considered socially acceptable as far as culinary standards are concerned. For instance, I'm the kind of guy who would dunk whole wheat tortillas into clam sauce instead of linguine. I don't know if it's because I like to see the disgusting look on people's faces when I do this or if it's just the thrill of the moment of taking something from the sublime to the ridiculous.

Sorry, if I'm blabbering on. I'm new. I found your blog via amandarin.net. Nice blog you have, btw.


I took my run yesterday while supposedly working from home during working hours.

I also took my dog swimming during working hours.

It's not my fault, the weather was too damn nice.


I can't have an orgasm or haven't in years and years. This pisses me off about myself and shames me.

I fell for a married man. He was leaving his marriage. I thought not for me. He changed his mind. I stuffed all my feelings about it.

I really like someone now but am afraid I can't get to the good feeling because I haven't let go of the cowardly married guy.

I haven't worked out in weeks and worry daily that I will gain all the weight back if I don't.


1. I had four packages of Little Debbie zebra cakes for breakfast this morning. The little fuckers are all gone now, so there won't be a repeat tomorrow.

2. I love one of my dogs more than the other one. And I love my parent's dog more than either one of mine. :(

3. My entire photography website is filled with suggestions and ideas I ripped off from other photographer's websites. People think I'm extremely creative; but in reality, I steal other people's ideas and fake it.


I love my fiance but I can't stand his family, namely his brother. His brother is selfish, self-absorbed, and oblivious. He just got engaged to a woman I cannot stand and I don't know how I'm going to get past this. She is the total opposite of everything I think is right in the world. I know that I have to because my fiance means the world to me, but sometimes it feels like too much to take.

I've never posted on anyone's blog before and it feels really good!

Another Anonymouse Man

** Even though I can't have her at least I know that women like her are real -- and I deserve one.

** I've known you a long time but never really talk to you anymore -- we parted ways but I still wonder how you are all of the time.


Dave - I confess that I never even thought I'd see your name anywhere NEAR this page so I guess confessing that you are awesome is good enough. My confession to you is that I think you are pretty damned awesome and other nice things we don't want getting out...

S - It may be the kind of man you are picking? I only say that because I know that I followed a pattern for YEARS! And my confession to you is that sometimes I feel like I am a fraud at work too.

Anyonymous #1 - We all have days like that. It is hard to get out of bed when you face another day of being imperfect and wondering who is going to hit on you at work! My confession to you is that I've said the same thing about not waking up before.

It's A Secret - Oh my goodness! Due to fatigue, it took me like an hour at work to figure out that you weren't talking to ME but to your BEST FRIEND! My confession to you is that I was wondering who the hell you were!

RW: Yum...my confession to you is that I put jelly on pancakes.

MisterHK - I like odd food items too and my confession to you is that part of me probably does like to be different ;0.

Furiousball - LOL, it's NOT your fault. I have no confession to match yours :).

Petunia - I really think that there are certain types of therapists out there that can help with that...and I am not being silly for once. Married men, while attractive because unattainable, will always leave your heart on the floor...good you learned now! My confession to you is that I think I know who you are but I am not pushing the envelope because anonymity is the name of the game.

Kriss - I haven't had a Little Debbie in forever...they scare me ;). My confession to you is that I like my cat more than I like most people :).

Anonymous #2 - First of all, welcome to posting comments and you are welcome any time! Second of all, I had a similar situation and learned to go with his family as little as possible. You'll make it! I have no confession to match yours other than the fact that it thrills me that you chose me to pluck your posting cherry ;).

AAM - Okay that is all kinds of messed up! First of all, I am pretty sure I know who you are but anyway...I will respect your privacy. Second of all, my confession to you is that I completely know what you mean about the first thing.


1 - I like the Confession Booth posts because it means I don't have to put myself out there for a couple of days.

2 - Have I mentioned that I am tired of putting myself out there?

3 - I read every blog through the feeder every day but hardly comment anymore. I'd love to say that it is because I am busy doing other important things but it is because I am waiting for a new charger for my laptop and only sporadically come down to the basement to use the desktop. Yeah, I am way into teeve right now as well.

4 - I came home from work to change my underpants. No no, no pee pee stuff. I realized after I got to work that I had on black panties and khaki capris...tres tacky!

Another Anonymous Coward

* I am not happy in my life most days, and wish that somehow, something would happen to make me start over.

* My imaginary life in my head is much more exciting, and interesting than my real one.

* I have deluded myself into thinking that maybe my imaginary life could actually happen someday, even though I know there's no chance (especially with the people involved.)

* I wish I looked different and acted different on a daily basis. Oddly enough, I'm happy with my brains.


1. I am worried about money 90% of the time
2. I hide it well
3. I am getting hooked on traffic to my blog
4. I haven't had sex for over 10 years
5. My spouse can't but won't do anything to figure out why
6. I miss it a lot but pretend I don't to spare my spouses feelings
7. I still feel like a sexual being
8. I did not want this to turn into a sex post - sorry Hilly.


1. I suspect "Dear Best Friend" is addressed to me, and it makes me very, very angry. Before I met my husband, I had all kinds of time for family and friends because I had NO LIFE, nothing else to be interested in. I was living through them. Now I'm joyously happy in my marriage and would rather be with him because we have so much fun together. And they all resent that I don't live at their beck and call anymore. They don't care how much happier and more fullfilled *I* am.

I had some other things, but now I'm too upset.

just me

I currently HATE my sibling. Sib is trash to me right now.

I wish I was more adventurous in bed with my husband.While sex is great now, in my head I am a freak. I can't seem to take it into the open.

My best friend is driving me crazy. Her marriage is a mess. All she does is whine about money and the kids and lack of sex and I can see why her husband is distancing himself. She doesn't want to hear it from me.

I need a friend who wants to do some of the same things I want to do.

just me

PS My best friend is NOT "chicken."

Death By Chocolate Is Still Death

I hate my own body. I can't even bear my own reflection, and I am so uncomfortable in this bulkiness that I avoid activities. I make jokes about how clumsy I've become, but in reality I'm ashamed because it's a result of my extreme girth. And my husband never wants to have sex with me anymore, and I think it's because of my obesity.

Plus, I'm scared it's going to kill me too young.


Okay wow, first of all - I generally have my personal email forwarded to work but had to take it off today cause of all the sex sex sex talk ;).

Second of all, lots of no-no-mouses out there today, which is different but very cool.

Moving on.....

AAC - At times, we all like to delude ourselves that our imaginary life can happen. I think it's what keeps us from going off the deep end when things get rough, yanno? My confession to you is that my imaginary life is better than my real one right now too.

Chicken - I totally used to be hooked on blog traffic but now I just look at the numbers once a week :). Don't worry about the sex thing...it looks like you opened the door for a lot of people that needed to vent about the same thing. My confession to you is that I worry about money 90% of the time too and nobody thinks that I do.

E - My confession to you is that I am Scooby Doo.

Just Me - Have you talked to your husband about brining out your inner freak? Sometimes that is hard to do after being together awhile. It's very nice having a friend that likes to do things you like to do....and having like minded thoughts and I wish you one! My confession to you is that I am a freak in bed too :).

Death by Chocolate: I know how you feel. It's the hardest thing to do to let that insecurity go. The best thing that I have learned lately is that people who really love me are going to love me no matter what. Talk to your husband about it, maybe? My confession to you is that I have a generalized fear that while some people have a mental crush on me, they totally don't think I am attractive.

Wow, that made me tear up just a little bit there.

Not into Him

Here goes:
A lot of people have this complaint it seems.

I really really really hate a dear friend's fiance. I think he sucking the life force out of her and that the only reason she is with him is because she wants a wedding. I worry that he is abusive mentally and physically. I worry that he controls her every move. I worry that he is domineering and unstable. And I hate that I don't have the balls to tell her. Although at this stage, I wonder if it may not be worth risking the frienship for.


Should I feel guilty about supporting the construction of more nuclear power plants? Seriously, I don't know. It is clean, we need more electric plants (esp. for our high tech requirements and flat screens, and the need for energy gobbling server farms), and it is environmentally friendly. I don't feel guilty about this, but maybe I should...


1. I am completely disgusted by the nauseating loveyness of my friend in her 3 month relationship, and completely jealous of it.

2. I think I'm a bad person because of number 1.

3. I want to marry my best friend and have his babies.

into him

To not into him. I think that perhaps you have not had the opportunity to really get to know him. And if you don't really want your friend to know what you think, don't post it, even anonymously, to a website you know she reads...

Iron Fist

I confess that I'm a little surprised that no one here has said they want to jump Karl's bones. WTF, people? Am I the only one now?

I confess that Hilly rocks. I also confess that I probably should not have had a sugary confection after dinner again.


**I am sick of being cowardly so I'm not even going to be anonymous!

**While it's been incredibly difficult, ending my 4 year, live-in relationship is the best thing I could have done.

**I'm dating, and let me tell you -- dating 80 lbs lighter than i was the LAST time I was dating makes a ginormous difference. I could choose to be rightously indignant about that, but I don't even care -- I'm just glad that i'm meeting lots of great guys who are totally into me, and some of them i like, and some I'm just, like "eh, let's move along!"

**We also had not had sex in a RIDICULOUSLY long time, and I cannot believe I put up with that for so long. What was I thinking?

**I still love my ex very much as a best friend and now that he's not my boyfriend, I can just appreciate him for who he is instead of being all freaked out about how it's going to affect MY future

**CHASE is my hero, because I channeled her "chutzpah" while choosing to end my relatinship... I'm looking for MY tango partner now!

**I am turning 30 on Tuesday and can't think of a better way to walk into my new decade... comfortable with who I am and where I'm headed and excited to meet the guy that's going to head there with me... but not willing to settle or compromise, I'd rather be single than in an unhappy relationsihp ever again!

**I sound totally arrogant right now and I don't even care! Dude, earned it!



* I'm 9 and a half months pregnant and worried my body will never even return to its former (fat) glory, let alone the slimmer body I was aiming for before I found out I was pregnant.

* I don't care if you don't want to see me breastfeed. Look away then. I would breastfeed in front of the Pope, let alone discreetly in the next booth at a restaurant.

* I'm crazy about my husband, love to see him walk in the door, but I wish he wanted sex more often.

* I would NOT be a good stay at home mom. I am way too impatient. And I'm not ashamed of that. Know thyself, that's what.


i'm afraid that my boyfriend is never going to ask me to marry him and if he hasn't by january (our 3rd anniv), i'm going to break up with him...


I really love the confession booth

Im dating someone new and loving it after 3 long miserable years with my alcoholic ex..

The sex is way better now...he loves me for who I am and who I want to be.

I wish my life job etc was much more than it is just like alot of other people but have learned to at least be happy with what I have because it is much more than some.



-I know there is more out there but I'm too chicken to do something about it.

- I've stopped talking to "friends" cause I can't be bothered to tell them we have nothing in common anymore.

- I often wonder what it would be like to be single and living on my own.


- I spend way too much time on the internet while I am at work, and sometimes worry I might get fired for it even though I get my work done.

- This one will make me sound so pety but the biggest motivator in losing weight is to make certain friends jealous.

- I absolutely HATE my mother in law and try to make up any excuse I can to not go visit for the holidays.


* Ditto Alli's #1 comment about spending too much time on the internet at work - I do to and am afraid of the consequences, yet am so bored with my job I almost don't care.

* My sister wants to have a baby in the worst way and I think it's the worst thing she could do. I feel bad, but I don't think she should have children until she gets her "issues" resolved. I think it makes me a bad person to think that she'd be a horrible mother.

* I've stopped communicating with most of my friends since I got married and I don't miss it. I have new friends that fit into my life better than the old ones.

* I hate that baking is so hard for me. A lot of things come easily to me and this doesn't and it royally pisses me off because I'm spoiled.


-I still want to jump Karl's bones, but alas he has a girlfriend now (bitch).

-I worry about other people's happiness more than my own.

-My mother thinks I quit smoking, but I'm down to 5 a day. (I used to smoke 2 packs.)

-I need to get laid really, really bad (it's been 13 years or so).

-I think Neil of Citizen of the Month would be a great guy to hang with and wonder what it would be like to make out with him.

-I'm sick to death of hearing how girls run away from home with perverts because they had a MySpace site and their parents didn't know it. What is wrong with these parents???

-I wish I had time to stay in bed with my PJ's for an entire weekend and just watch romantic comedies.


Okay this is my first time here and i'm feeling both relieved and I guess you could say...cautious? Okay my confession is that I have been with my husband for four years, married for going on 1, and I have "faked it" 90% of the times that we've had sex. The problem is that although we have sex, he stays on the "outside" if you know what I mean...and I dont know how to tell him. That felt good to tell someone.


Money isn't everything -- but it's a long way ahead of what comes next.
-- Sir Edmond Stockdale


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