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Monday, January 28, 2008

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Suzy

Lord child, try being a comic who blogs. I'm amazed at how many people take me seriously.

sizzle

you? heartless?

as if.

adena

Nah, I can tell the difference between being sarcastic and deliberatly mean.

Because I do it, too...and I know people have a hard time telling the difference.

*sigh*

Atomic Bombshell

It's good to take care and time to evaluate. Personally, after reading an article not so long ago about sarcasm's potential for negative psychological impact on others (especially children) I'm trying to weed it out or at least tone it way down.

SJ

My natural tendency is toward sarcasm, but I've discovered I'm only skilled with it in person. For some reason it doesn't come across well in my writing, and too many people miss that I'm being sarcastic. Unless it's really obvious, like, "Yeah, THAT'S gonna happen." So I've gotten away from using it as much on my blog as I used to.

crystalsinger

I'm with you on this one - I've done the self-assessment thing too when people take an obviously (to me) humourous comment to be mean. It's made me more conscious about where "the line" is, although of course usually the only time I ~see~ the line is looking back over my shoulder... ;-)

Personally, I always ~used~ to assume that it was clear to *everyone* that if I said something that sounded mean, it was deliberate hyperbole with humourous intent. Apparently not. I would *never* say something that sounded mean in an offhand manner if I actually thought it was true.

Anything that gets spouted as sarcasm is done because I don't in my wildest dreams imagine that the recipient could possibly think that it was my actual belief on the topic (usually, I think it's obvious that I believe the *opposite*).

It's SARCASM - look it up people! :-P

P.S. I sometimes refer to this effect as *sarchasm* - the gulf between the speaker's wit, and the person who fails to get it...

Dave2

Yeah, but people apply "heartless" so often now-a-days that I have to wonder if they even know what it means. It seems even the smallest infraction makes you "heartless" to a drama queen somewhere. I was once called "heartless" because I commented that I didn't like a song. Whatever.

Aunt Robin

Just yesterday I posted a comment that I looked back at later and thought might sound condescending, and I surely did not mean for it to come out that way.

I must kick myself once a week for "saying it" all wrong.

Then I go back in my shell and hide from the fallout. :(

kapgar

You are far from heartless. In fact, you've got one of the biggest hearts among people I virtually know. That is simply an example of a person who was out to get you and was willing to say anything to make their point regardless of its validity. Fuck 'em.

BTW, I've placed my preorder at Amazon for the SnackiePoo edition of Merriam-Webster's Dictionary. Where do you come up with that stuff?

RW

It's a relative thing, but it is a constant struggle to get the true meaning of something across on the web to the point where there really needs to be a separate and distinct language for it and I'm surprised someone hasn't come up with it, it being such an old and classic internet problem by now.

Intent, as you say, is the key to the definition. It's just impossible to judge in others most times. I know for a fact that I lost a chunk of regular visitors to the blog because I messed with a sacrosanct political axiom a bit - when I thought I was just being satirical.

It's a minefield out there. I think everybody - everybody - needs to get a thicker skin.

Nat

Oh Hilly, I hear you on this one. I, for one, have been the victim of many a "Can I talk to you?" discussion with people. And what did you mean when you said... Usually ending with my saying something that is not sarcastic at all. At all at all like "I am sorry you were offended. But given that I am the queen of tact, and you have the brain power of a turnip, we will just discount what you think and move on."

Rachel

Sarcasm gets me in trouble all the time. I think it's in knowing your audience per se. It's tough because you could say something meaning it totally innocently and funny and the way the person perceives it isn't the same.

I actually had a co-worker report me to my boss because of something I said. This was the same person that reported me to my boss because I didn't speak to her. Then when I did, she didn't like what I said.

Can't please everybody!!

Absurdist

You and I are peas in a pod.

I have never heard that saying about sarcasm, but I think it takes a good amount of intelligence to be sarcastic.

I get the same miscommunication issues that you get; especially in the written word. People need to lighten up.

'nuff said.

RW

Well I want to know how the hell people are supposed to lighten up when they get a thicker skin. Huh? Answer me that one.

Miss Britt

Sarcasm is the LOWEST form of humor?

Shit. I've been going about this all wrong.

Sarcasm is SMART humor. Dry sarcasm is BRILLIANT humor.

And who the fuck called you heartless? Please God tell me it's no one whose opinion counts. Clearly.

furiousball

i am of the opinion that people take themselves and others way too seriously. you're fine amiga.

kilax

I am the same way - always making sarcastic jokes and ribbing on people... you have to be careful. People are too dumb to understand you are joking. THEY ARE JUST TOO DUMB. Don't test the waters until you know them really well. I only say this because I have been in situations where I was joking and people DIDN'T GET IT.

And SJ is so right - it is hard to portray sarcasm on the net in writing! Dave is good at it... maybe he should teach a class.

I get you Hilly, and I think you rock. But there are A LOT of dumb people out there. Sad truth ;)

Rick

Ah, it's the "intent" that gets us every time. The good news is, we only offend the BAD mind-readers. The GOOD ones "get" the intent. ;-)

Nilsa S.

Like you, I ride that fine line between sarcastic and bitchy. And I completely agree about your intent. That's what matters. And also who your audience is ... I might behave a bit differently in front of a bunch of feeble folks than I do in front of my thick-skinned best friends. So long as you can tell the difference, then it's all good!

Bec

It's been siad before but I think it's worth repeating. Heartless? You? Don't make me laugh. (fake Italian accent)Your-a heart is so big!

Bully

Yeah, I know what you mean. Soemtimes people will think I'm being aggressive or angry sounding, even if I feel I am simply being direct and handling things. They read "tone" in where perhaps only seriousness lies.

People read other people differently, and sometimes who we are friends with are simply people who are wise enough to know the difference. ;-)

turnbaby

Heartless???? YOU???? No fucking way!

I love your snark---I apprecite it for the true art of it. I love being around snarky people.

True snark rises above plain old every day sarcasm.

I think you are cool beans sugar.

Kyra

You know, this is interesting because on my recent trip to TX with my newly single friend I had to take her aside and tell her to knock it off when it came to snark and humorous sarcasm. Reason being that it didn't offend me at all, but it set strangers (and potential new men) 10 paces back from her and running for the door. It made her a raving bitch, when she wasn't.

I think snark has to be used only with people you know and who "get it", online being an exception (cause it's our blog dammit, our rules - without hurting anyone else.)

Jessica

Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor?!

Well, shit. I'm in big trouble then.

emmaenlighted

My mom used to (actually, she still does) get angry at me for being sarcastic. I don't intend to be "mean," I think my sense of humor is just too dry for her, although it could just be the language barrier.

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